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This small, outcast family of yours has very few traditions. Perhaps it is because of the pragmatic outlook of your mother, or because of the lobotomy that your father had after a tragic accident with a pillow and a meatloaf your father is extremely boring. Or perhaps the lack of traditions might just be a manifestation of the failed struggle to assert an identity when neither of your parents have strong social skills.

Or your parents might just be really, really tired.

This lack of traditions means that time passes without much remark in your house, with long stretches of uncountable days and nights being unremarkable except for changes in weather, remarkable news events, and perhaps the occasional purchase of some electronic device.

There is, however, an extremely important tradition that occurs in the weeks before Halloween. Your family, together, must venture out to a pumpkin patch.

So, your horoscope in the local paper today read:

You want to be helpful, Libra, but by helping someone else you could be neglecting the person closest to you. Open up your eyes before you act and see who it might be affecting.

I am away at work most days while you and your mother stay home, so I have no idea what you do all day. I had no idea your life was so complicated. Until I read that I assumed your days were some kind of variation on your nights, in which you sleep (but only on someone) and eat, and poop.

Picture taken by Courtney.

This beautiful bassinet was made for you by your Grampa Rick. Amazingly, you have been happy to sleep in it from time to time. Unfortunately, it isn’t at night or any time that might afford your mother more sleep, but anytime you sleep without being on someone or in someone’s arms is a pretty nice break from the norm.

You are still young, though. We will give you some time to learn.